What I've learned about holding space (From the treatment table)

I’ve had the absolute honor of witnessing people in their softest moments. Not just “naked under the sheets” kind of soft - though, yes, there’s that too. I mean soul-level soft. Vulnerable. Unmasked. Open.

I’ve held the hands of powerhouse women who run companies and carry the weight of everyone else’s needs on their shoulders. I’ve soothed the scarred backs of women who’ve survived more than they speak about. I’ve massaged children with fidgety limbs and nervous laughter, and I’ve cared for elders whose bodies are slowing, but whose stories and spirits still sprint.

And yet, across all that diversity, there is one very human thread: They are all trusting me with something sacred.

Not just their bodies. Their nervous systems. Their pain. Their protection.

See, people don’t just want a massage. They want to feel safe enough to let go.

That’s what “holding space” means.

Not fixing. Not diagnosing. Not performing miracles or preaching wellness with glittery affirmations(although I do love a good affirmation).

It means standing there.  Fully present.  Heart soft.  ego off-duty.  Holding the moment.

So, how do you hold space?

It’s deceptively simple. (It’s also one of the hardest things to do well.)

You hold space by:

• Listening without rushing in to “help” (because not all pain is a request for rescue).

• Letting silence exist without scrambling to fill it.

• Releasing the need to be “right” or “wise.”

• Becoming the calm in someone else’s internal storm.

On my table, that might look like adjusting a blanket so someone feels cocooned. It might mean placing one grounded hand on the back, letting the nervous system recalibrate through quiet contact. It might mean asking, “Do you want to talk, or do you want a quiet appointment today?” And honoring either answer without flinching.

Holding space is not passive. It’s not just “being nice. ”It is an active choice to create a container that says:

"You don’t have to armor up in here. You don’t have to perform.

You can just… be."

And in a world that tells people they’re too much, too emotional, too angry, too loud, too needy…..let me tell you…..that is radical, and possibly the hardest thing you’ve ever don.

I didn’t learn this in massage school.

I learned it by messing up.

By assuming.

By overspeaking.

By thinking “healing” meant doing something to someone.

And then I learned to listen better.

To watch body language.

To be okay with not knowing.

To hold a space where the body leads the way - because it always knows.

So no, not everyone who comes to me is looking for deep tissue or relaxation or to fix a knot.

Some of them just want a moment.

A breath.

A reminder that in this chaotic, overstimulated world, there's still space for them to feel.

Still space for softness.

Still space for them.

And what an honor it is to hold that.

xox