When visibility feels like a dare

There’s a part of me that still wants to hide.

Even now, even after all the therapy, the journaling, the long walks where I whispered affirmations to trees like a forest witch in training……I still feel a deep discomfort when it comes to being truly seen. Not just noticed. Not just complimented. But really, seen. Soul to soul.

It’s easier to stay small. To keep the dream as just that - a dream. A fantasy with soft edges that can’t fail or be criticized. It’s safe. Comfortable, even, in that strange way comfort turns into confinement - like wearing a once loved sweater that’s grown just a little too snug, too worn, too heavy with yesterday.

Visibility is a strange kind of exposure, I think. It doesn’t just show your talents. It shines a light on your imperfections, your doubts, your messy, unfiltered humanity. And if you’ve spent a lifetime being the “nice girl,” the “helpful one,” the one who doesn’t make waves… then stepping into the spotlight can feel a lot like emotional streaking.

But here's the thing -  our souls didn’t come here to hide.

Every time I resist showing up, whether it be on social media, in one of my adhd business ventures, even in my relationships, it’s not because I have nothing to say. It’s because fear is whispering, if I’m visible, I’ll be too much, not enough, and somehow still overlooked.

The kicker here?  

Growth demands visibility. You can’t expand while hiding. You can’t call in the right clients, the heart aligned community, or the next evolution of yourself while keeping the “do not disturb” sign up on your soul.

So here I am learning what it means to let myself be seen. Not because I’m fearless, but because I think I might be ready. (Am I? Who knows.) Ready to grow. Ready to be uncomfortable. Ready to let the people who are meant to find me, actually find me.

Is it comfortable? Nope. Is it safe? Not even a little. Do I have doubts and fears about how I’ll be perceived? You betcha.

But I’m still here. Stumbling forward. Choosing to put myself out there. Because the truth is  I know that what I have to say matters to the people it’s meant for.

Visibility isn’t just about being seen. It’s about being found by the ones who’ve been waiting for exactly this version of me.

If you’ve been waiting for the fear to go away before you take the leap, I have a spoiler alert for you:  it won’t. But you can take it with you.  

Because visibility isn’t just about being seen. It’s about seeing yourself clearly enough to know:  You matter. Your point of view is unique and precious. 

And hiding?  Yeah, that ship has sailed.

<3